Chichi Chin and Hombre Hombro

After the beach I was absolutely exhausted so I thought a massage was in good order (they're dirt cheap down here). Since it was Good Friday, nobody was open but then I remember this real weird woman that came up to me in the Bodegona (grocery store type place) and asked me if I was the type of person who liked massages. Anyways she gave me her card so I called her up. Let me tell you she is so strange. Soooo strange. She's about 65, speaks bad Spanish (even after living here for 10 years..she's from California, guess that says something huh?), and rides her bike everywhere. I didn't take any pictures of her, but I should have. So we met at this cafe and she brought me to her little house. Let me tell you this woman can talk. We stood outside her house for like 15 minutes talking about her garden...what she eats, what you can make with the different herbs, the ancient Inca civilizations and what they ate. I was confused, I wasn't sure where my massage fit in to the mix. Then we went in and she had one main room with the living room/massage area on one side separated by a dresser from her bedroom area on the other side. K so anyways, the massage was great, however I found it a little strange when she began thanking my organs for all their hard work (it sounded like a prayer..."thank you liver, thank you for all you do for the Crista Company, thank you for acting as a filter and not allowing that bad bad bacteria to get into my bloodstream") Yeah she calls my body the Crista Company and talks to all its employees. She thanked my skull for protecting my squishy brain, the boss of the Crista Company. She told my skull it did a really good job of protecting my brain and then she was like..."think how well the skull works, I've only known one person whose skull didn't hold up its end of the deal and after a horrible car accident this person had brain damage." I was like um excuse me? Is this supposed to be relaxing? Fortunately she assured me my odds were good since it was only one person out of the tens of thousands of people that she's known over the years. Whew. Then when we got to my eye sockets my odds went down a little. She's known three people whose eye sockets didn't do a good job of protecting the eyes and these people had severe vision loss. P.S. That was my first eye socket massage ever. Interesting, but I'm not sure how highly I'd recommend it. Oh I forgot to tell you that at the beginning she was telling me (in a masseuse voice) that people store stress in 4 areas, including the anal sphincter. Hmm...relaxing to think about. She told me that many people walk around with their anal sphinter tensed, although the only reason you really need to keep it tightened was if you have diarrhea. Oh yeah and she was flailing my arms around and whispering to me that I can pretend to be a balerina whenever I want. Thank you very much. Oh and I forgot to tell you about the story about ChiChi Chin and Hombre Hombro (that means man shoulder) and how they flirt and then she's making these kissy noises and acting like she's ChiChi Chin flirting with Hombre Hombro. This lasted a while. So wierd, this lady, so wierd. I'm definitely going back.